hogTV is BACK this Thursday at 6PM after a 1,000+ day hiatus. That must be some record on CABTV.
There’ll be the standard mix of ancient and new (mostly ancient), and in between each programme I’ll be showing a bunch of Chrismassy idents and exclusive hogTV nonsense.
So sit back and relax infront of the roaring log fire that I’ve lovingly prepared, admire the flickering lights and warmth as we indulge in a festive feast of telly delights.
Hoggy goodness awaits.
17:45 – hogFM [pre-show buffer]
Around 15 minutes of tunes, more if I’m early, less if I’m late.
18:00 – Introduction
A relaxing paddle through mist-cloaked German wetlands with a maine coon cat named Louis and Vince Guaraldi on piano.
18:05 – Art Attack Christmas Cracker (1994)
Neil Buchannan constructs a giant Santa from piles of burnt toast, soiled sanitary towels and massive quantities of cocaine.
18:35 – KNICKER KNOCK BOX XMAS SPECIAL (2023)
Quentin Smirhes and the gang present 20+ minutes of disturb’d telly from the 70s that never actually happened.
18:55 – Motown Merry Christmas (1987)
A christmas special featuring all your favourite Motown artists… and Redd Foxx (sounding raspier and more coke-addled than ever!)
19:45 – Old Newsreels: Post Early for Xmas (1943) / The Post Arrived on Time (1951) / Merry Christmas (1935)
Post Office propaganda + some pleasant scenes of mass merriment.
19:55 – Christmas Under Fire (1941)
A short film about Brits celebrating Christmas during WW2.
20:05 – Mickey’s Good Deed (1932)
Everyone’s favourite corporate-overlord-mascot mucks about with his mates in this delightful Christmas caper.
20:10 – On the Twelfth Day… (1955)
A colourful Oscar-winning musical short that makes fun of the titular yuletide tune. Essentially this Norm Macdonald bit but with visuals and longer.
20:35 – FILM: The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Ernst Lubitsch’s festive comedy-romance classic starring Jimmy-It’s-A-Wonderful-Life-Stewart and Margeret Sullavan. They can’t stand one another in-person but somehow manage to fall in love through the art of letter-writing.
Will they do it with each other!? Right there in the middle of the shop floor infront of all the patrons? I won’t give the ending away, but this definitely happens, in surprisingly graphic detail.
22:15 – William S. Burroughs’ The Junky’s Christmas (1994)
Stop motion animated film produced by Francis Ford Coppola. Burroughs delights with his misanthropic, croaky old ways.
22:30 – Horrific Christmas PSA Compilation
Christmas is a time to remember all the terribly awful things. I’ll be awarding points for the most insensitive jokes.
22:35 – Danny Kaye reading an excerpt from A Christmas Carol (1965)
22:45 – The Judy Garland Show Christmas Special (1963)
Troubled starlet and her weird family sing and dance around for a bit. Also featuring contemporary advertisement blocks.
23:40 – Outro
The perfect end to an evening.
