I’ve decided to devote the evening to the most unremittingly depressing game I’ve ever played: DayZ.

Tonight I’ll be one man on a mission, to cross a vast area full of zombies, homicidal survivalists and post-Soviet desolation – braving the elements, and facing horrific odds, to deliver a tin of spaghetti to a friend in need. Join me… If you dare.

[This has been cancelled, due to OBS broadcasting issues and a general sense of existential anguish.]