17:35 – Sheepy’s opening caption & music.
17:40 – Thames TV morning start-up music.
17:45 – Only When I Laugh – S04E02 – Conduct Unbecoming – A sitcom made by Yorkshire Television for ITV, written by Eric Chappell (Rising Damp, Home to Roost). It stars Christopher Strauli as Norman, a rather naive middle-class man who is admitted to a hospital ward and finds that he is sharing it with a working-class layabout called Figgis (James Bolam) and an upper-class hypochondriac called Archie (Peter Bowles). All three of them cause headaches for the hospital staff, led by Richard Wilson with Derrick Branche. This week, a nymphomaniac female patient falls for Dr Thorpe’s bedside matter, and caught in a compromising position, he turns to the men’s ward occupants for help, but will they come to the aid of a friend in need? First broadcast on Thu 11th Nov 1982 by ITV. With Wanda Ventham as the new patient.
18:10 – Michael Bentine’s Potty Time S02E09 –Cavaliers v. Roundheads / Wagons West – a British children’s TV show, written by and starring Michael Bentine, and directed and produced by Leon Thau for Thames Television. This week, history tells us that King Charles II escaped the Roundheads by hiding in an oak tree, but only the Potty Encyclopedia could tell us just how special the Royal Oak was. There’s further adventure as the Potty Wagon Train traverses the Wild West; but what was the final obstacle that kept those weary travellers from their goal? First broadcast on Wed 5th Mar 1975 by ITV.
18:32 – Dramarama S02E07 – Mr. Stabs – a one-off episode of the British children’s anthology series broadcast on ITV between 1983 and 1989. The series tended to feature single dramas with a science fiction, supernatural and occasionally satirical theme. It was created by Anna Home, then head of children’s and youth programming at TVS; however, the dramas themselves were produced by a total of twelve ITV regional companies. Thus, each episode was in practice a one-off production with its own cast and crew, up to and including the executive producer. This week, Mr Stabs is summoned to the City of Shadows, where he must perform various heroic deeds in order to defeat the evil Polandi, and ultimately face mortal, magical combat with Melchisedek. First broadcast on Mon 2nd Jul 1984 by ITV. This is the final appearance of the character of Mr. Stabs, who first appeared in the now-wiped Ace of Wands story “Seven Serpents, Sulphur and Salt” (S02E01-3; 1971) and subsequently an episode of Shadows S01E06 (1975), which I showed here on Mon 2022/08/15. On both those occasions the character was played by Russell “Lonely” Hunter, but here he’s played by David Jason. The opening minute or so – which is all I’ve watched so far – does seem genuinely spooky. #scarredforlife indeed! Included (along with the Shadows episode) as an extra on the Ace of Wands DVD box set.
18:58 – Clangers (New CBeebies Version) S01E09 – The Crystal Trees – the 2010s reboot of the famous early-1970s Oliver Postgate / Peter Firmin stop-motion children’s television series about a family of mouse-like creatures who live on, and inside, a small moon-like planet. This week, as the air grows cold, a crystal shaped seed lands on the Clangers’ planet. Granny helps Tiny to plant it and it quickly grows into a wonderful Crystal Tree. First broadcast on Thu 25th Jun 2015 at 5.30pm by CBeebies.
19:10 – Star Trek (The Original Series) – S02E21 – Patterns of Force – This week, looking for a missing Federation cultural observer, Kirk and Spock find themselves on a planet whose culture has been completely patterned after Nazi Germany. First broadcast in the USA on Fri 16th Feb 1968 by NBC. The V-2 rocket films were actual films and the clips of Hitler in a car were from the film Triumph of the Will (1935). Because the episode contains Nazi uniforms and insignia, and features a character who makes the statement that Nazi Germany was the “most efficient society” ever created, it was considered unfit for entertainment in Germany. Consequently, this episode is the only one which was not aired during either of the two original runs in Germany (on the public ZDF network in the mid-1970s and on the private Sat.1 network in the late 1980s/early 1990s). It was only dubbed into German in 1995, and was presented in the original English with subtitles in all earlier German releases. It was finally shown on German pay TV in 1996 and included on all DVD/Blu-ray season sets. On November 4, 2011 it was finally shown on the public network channel ZDFneo as well.
20:00 – Tales of the Unexpected S01E02 – Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat – a British television series that aired between 1979 and 1988. Each episode told a story, often with sinister and wryly comedic undertones, with an unexpected twist ending. Every episode of series one, eight episodes of series two, and one episode of series three were based on short stories by Roald Dahl, who provided introductions for the first two series. This week, unable to show her dentist husband Cyril the lavish mink fur coat her lover has given her, Mrs Bixby proceeds to hatch a clever plan. First broadcast on Sat 31st Mar 1979 by ITV.
20:25 – Van der Valk – S03E11 – Gold Plated Delinquents – After a four-year break (1973-1977) on original transmission, the Amsterdam-based crime drama returned for this 12-episode run, now made by Euston Films for Thames TV. It still stars Barry Foster in the title role, but his wife has mysteriously changed actress, from Susan Travers to Joanna Dunham, who played Patrick Allen’s lover in S02E01 “A Death by the Sea”. This week, two spoiled adolescent children hunting for new kicks add up to trouble for Van der Valk when a burglary takes place and the detective is given some insight into the not so innocent background of their wealthy parents. First broadcast on Mon 14th Nov 1977 by ITV. With Ian Hendry, and John Woodnutt again.
21:16 – Eurotrash S05E05 a.k.a. Eurotrash Goes Down Under (1/2) – The legendary late-night magazine show starring Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier, exploring unusual and bizarre topics from Europe and around the world. This week, we have Madame Lash, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, Scrotal Pouches, Miss Fa’Fafine Pageant, Safe Oral Sex Day, Burton Silver and his Painting Pussies. First broadcast on Fri 15th Dec 1995 by Channel 4.
21:40 – Lytton’s Diary S02E02 – Rules of Engagement – A drama series made by Thames Television for the ITV network, about the life of a newspaper gossip columnist, played by Peter Bowles, who also co-created the show with Philip Broadley. Scripts were by Ray Connolly, the journalist, interviewer, author, Beatles enthusiast, and screenplay writer of That’ll Be The Day and Stardust. Whether consorting with banking tycoons and ex-dictators or investigating a gang of skinheads, Lytton strives to expose the high and mighty, the corrupt and the crooked – and to make sure “God” (his editor at the Daily News) is happy with his work. All the while, Lytton struggles to keep his love life in order, write the one novel he feels he has in him, and fend off constant machinations and maneuvers of an old rival at the Daily Post. This week, Lytton puts a new reporter on the trail of a tennis star leaving his wife and kids, while Lytton himself investigates an Old Bailey judge with close ties to a known criminal. However, neither situation is quite what it seems. First broadcast on Wed 15th Jan 1986 by ITV. WARNING: the opening title sequence contains flashing images.
22:30 – Girls on Top S01E03 – C.O.D. – a British sitcom, broadcast on ITV in 1985 & 1986, made by Allan McKeown’s Witzend Productions for Central Independent Television. It starred Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Ruby Wax and Tracey Ullman with Joan Greenwood. It was written by French, Saunders and Wax, with additional material for two episodes written by Ullman. It was produced & directed by Paul Jackson (S1) and Ed Bye (S2). Both theme and incidental music were written and perforned by Chris Difford & Glenn Tillbrook. This week, a pair of kidnappers get more than they bargained for when they kidnap Jennifer during her girl’s night out with Candice. First broadcast on Wed 6th Nov 1985 at 8.30pm by ITV. This week guest-starring Robbie Coltrane, Stephen Frost & Mark Arden, Ronnie Golden, Ron Tarr and Harry Fielder. This show will be broadcast at 75% volume. 🙂
22:55 – Agony S02E03 – Coming Out… and Going In Again? – An ITV sitcom that aired from 1979 to 1981. Made by London Weekend Television, it stars Maureen Lipman as Jane Lucas who has a successful career as an agony aunt but whose own personal life is a shambles. It was created by Len Richmond and real-life agony aunt Anna Raeburn, both of whom wrote all of the first series. The second and third series were written by Stan Hey and Andrew Nickolds. This week, Jane is furious when she invites Michael to talk anonymously about being gay on her radio show and Truscombe reveals his real name on air. First broadcast on Sun 27th Apr 1980 by ITV.
23:20 – MUSICAL INTERLUDE: The Noveltones – Left Bank One – suggested by “the”.
23:23 – SHORT FILM: On the Safe SIDE (1967) – a short film made by the U.K. Atomic Energy Authority about safety procedures when working with high-energy equipment. It was regularly broadcast as a Trade Test Colour Film, and scared the shit out of me as a little boy. 🙂 Previously shown on CABTV by both “the” and myself in 2021, exact dates & times unknown.
23:42 – SHORT FILM: Crystal Voyager (1973) – final sequence only – an Australian surf film directed by David Elfick. It was filmed by Albert Falzon, and written and narrated by surfer, photographer and filmmaker George Greenough who had previously made the 1970 surfing film The Innermost Limits of Pure Fun. The closing sequence (being shown here) is Greenough’s short film Echoes, which is generally considered to be the highlight of the whole film. Filmed with a camera in a waterproof housing strapped to Greenough’s back, the sequence is composed entirely of slow-motion footage shot inside the curl of waves, edited to the 23-minute song “Echoes” by Pink Floyd. The group reportedly allowed Elfick and Greenough to use the music in their film in exchange for the use of Greenough’s footage as a visual background when they performed “Echoes” in concert. Shown once by the BBC, on Tue 5th Apr 1983 at 2pm on BBC1.
00:04 – Closedown music.
00:09 – Closedown.