Reduced schedule for Christmas given hardly anyone is likely to be watching during the day, however should you be able to evade your social obligations we can offer the following diversions:

2.30 – Xmassy (and non-Xmassy) Music Playlist

Driver’s Eye View of a train journey from Trondehim to Mosjøen accompanied by some soothing sounds to doze off to while you digest your Christmas lunch.

7.00 – Bob Green, The Jazz Engineer, Christmas 1994

Repeat showing of this nightmarish glimpse into public access cabaret hell as vibraphone virtuoso Bob “entertains” an audience of the nearly dead (or clearly wishing that they were).

7.15 – Stars In Their Eyes Christmas Special 1992

This iconic highlight from the 1992 festive edition of long-running celeb impersonate-o-thon, featuring an array of stars that will quite literally leave your jaw in a position akin to that of a gravitationally challenged thing.

7.20 – Millard’s Christmas Selection Box II

Curator of cultural detritus Stuart Millard uncovers three particularly grim and bewildering examples of Christmas programming from the world of festive light entertainment gone by.

7.50 – Master Thespian Play Santa Claus

Classic SNL sketch with Jon Lovitz and Phil Hartman. Can Master Thespian successfully adapt his ACT-ING prowess to role of Mall Santa?

8.00 – Gormenghast – Part 1

First part of this over-ambitious but oddly compelling BBC adaptation of Meryn Peake’s classic novels from the year 2000, featuring a cast of just about every living British actor at the time. Newborn Titus Groan is destined to rule Gormenghast, a kingdom based on complicated and unbreakable traditions. Meanwhile an ambitious kitchen slave schemes to escape his destiny and overthrow the old order.

9.00 – Film: Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas is a 2012 epic science fiction film written and directed by the Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer. Based on the 2004 novel by David Mitchell, it has multiple plots occurring during six eras in time, with the cast members performing multiple roles.

Everything is connected: an 1849 diary of an ocean voyage across the Pacific, letters from a composer to his lover, a thriller about a conspiracy at a nuclear power plant, a farce about a publisher in a nursing home;, a rebellious clone in futuristic Korea, and the tale of a tribe living on post-apocalyptic Hawaii far in the future.

11.50 – Closedown