We say goodbye to Space Precinct this week with the two-part series finale, Deathwatch. In the place of a film, I will be showing the feature-length pilot of the shatneriffic TJ Hooker, a show which may become a regular (though I have yet to decide which day to show it on). Also departing this week is Jackass ( I will be showing the films at some point). The next two Sundays are …

Robin Williams goes from Mork to mawkish in the sappy dramedy Patch Adams (1998). A man who admits himself to a mental institution realises the benefits of using humour in psychiatric care and resolves to become a doctor, but his unorthodox approach sets him at odds with the medical establishment.

4.00 Ninja Warrior S02E01
4.25 St. Elsewhere S02E09 AIDS and Comfort
5.15 Hill Street Blues S03E05 Officer of the Year
6.00 Cagney & Lacey S04E08 …

I'm struggling to find the next series of Takeshi's Castle, so it will be replaced for the moment by its hardcore cousin, Ninja Warrior. There will be no film this week, due to a Space Precinct two parter and the extended Jackass episode Gumball Rally 3000. The show will end with an Always Sunny three-pack for anyone who stays the distance.

4.00 Ninja Warrior S01E01
4.40 St. Elsewhere S02E08 All About Eve
5.30 Hill …

This week's film is Inferno (1999), alternately titled Desert Heat. Jean-Claude Van Damme stars as Eddie Lomax, a burnt-out veteran wandering the desert on his motorbike, ready to meet his maker. When some bottom-feeding lowlife punks beat him up, steal his bike and leave him for dead, he is given a new purpose: to chase down the scumwads that did him over and make them pay!

4.00 Takeshi's Castle S01E40
4.25 St. Elsewhere …

Our film this week is Shirley Valentine (1989). Based on Willy Russell's single-hander play of the same name, Pauline Collins reprises her role from that production. The titular middle-aged Liverpudlian housewife tires of the unfulfilling drudgery of her marriage and family life. When her friend wins a holiday to Greece and invites her to come along, Shirley finds herself in an idyllic new environment where she starts to re-evaluate her life choices.

This week's film is Ron Howard's Backdraft (1991), starring Kurt Russell, Donald Sutherland and Robert DeNiro. A serial arsonist is on the loose - two brothers working alongside each other in the Chicago Fire Department must put aside their differences as they fight to stop the carnage.

4.00 Takeshi's Castle S01E38
4.25 St. Elsewhere S02E05 A Wing and a Prayer
5.15 Hill Street Blues S03E01 Trial by Fury
6.00 Cagney & Lacey S04E04 Old Debts
6.50 …

With Halloween firmly behind us, we move onto the third instalment of the franchise so stupendously bad it can't hang onto a lead for more than one film - Cyborg 3: The Recycler (1994). In a desolate straight-to-video future where the corporations that created them have fallen apart, cyborgs are now hunted down and stripped for parts like Mk. 3 Escorts. A recast Cash Reese (Khrystyne Haje) inexplicably becomes pregnant, and must …

This week Angelina Jolie stars in our unmissable feature Cyborg 2 (1993). Jean Claude Van Damme apparently gave this one a swerve, appearing only in flashback sequences. In the year 2074, a saucy next generation corporate murderbot rebels against her mercantile masters and goes rogue. Along the way she makes friends, falls in love, and does all the things a young cyborg should.

4.00 Takeshi's Castle S01E36
4.25 St. Elsewhere S02E03 Newheart
5.15 Hill …

This week's film will be the martial arts cyberpunk odyssey Cyborg (1989), starring Jean-Claude van Damme as the badass mercenary Gibson Rickenbacker. Civilisation has been ravaged by a plague called 'the living death' - a group of eggheads on the east coast of America battle to save what is left of humanity. A band of scum-sucking bottom feeders led by the vicious Fender Tremolo (I'm not making this shit up I swear) …

I have a nagging feeling that I've been showing too many good films recently, so this week we're ploughing right into some good old-fashioned straight to video bullshit with Out for a Kill (2003). Starring Steven "Generous" Seagal as professor Robert Burns, a man who gets caught up in a Chinese underworld drug deal and is framed for a crime he did not commit. He escapes prison to prove his innocence and …